Reflecting back on this journey of infertility, my wisest words of counsel I wish I could have told my younger self would be “don’t walk it alone – you need Jesus and a few loyal, faith-filled friends.” We have walked this journey for six years now and the first three to four years were very lonely. Outside of telling our family and Pastors, we secluded ourselves along with our pain. We had many tear-filled nights and tense conversations over treatments, decisions, and mostly just lulling over the pain that just wouldn’t go away. Infertility, in a nutshell, feels like a death sentence that keeps giving sorrowful news month after month. Pride will beg you to stay hidden behind that shadow of shame, but Christ’s love begs you to step out into the light of not only His love, but the beauty that is His family of believers.
After leaving our sweet home in Florida, we also left family and friendships behind and we never knew how we would get on without them. Being in a new city, we prayed to God for years to surround us with like-minded, humble people who would be more than just friends – they would become our family in a city where we had none. If you’re actually someone who’s moved thousands of miles away from your loved ones, you can relate to the feelings of basically being back in middle school, starting at a brand new school, and begging to be noticed or invited to join in a group, ANY group (yes, even the nerds). At this point, you just want to be invited in, you want to feel a part of something, you want to desperately belong.
Not until recently did God answer our prayer in providing those that would uplift our arms when we couldn’t believe for the miracle ourselves. Some have families of their own, but like Jesus (although complete and lacking nothing), they feel compelled to love and encourage those that are broken. Some of them are on the same journey as us of infertility. We never thought God would divinely connect us with others that needed the same encouragement as we did. Some have already received their miracles and others are still in the wait. The beauty? When one is weak, the other rises up in strength and stands in the gap believing God for the other. We purchase gifts for each other in faith – blankets, plaques, onesies, cribs, you name it!
On top of blessing us with a family in our city, God has opened a whole new world of support. When the Word says His plans are far better than our own, you can take those words to the bank. My husband & I have always been private people, but when I heard God’s voice speak “more people need to know” over our journey, that opened a place we wanted to keep hidden, yet He wanted exposed. Now we were being vulnerable not only with our words in a blog, but also in sharing our weaknesses with a whole onslaught of people all over the world through social media and online interaction. That was a scary step to say the least, but when you answer the knock of God’s invitation and follow through with abandoned obedience, you’re in for a barn house full of blessings. We not only have a local family of support, now we also have an online family that also truly cares – they send texts, private messages, or emails filled with encouragement and prayer over our journey. I am still in awe of what God has done!
One of my favorite Bible passages is Hebrews 11, they call it the “Hall of Faith”. In my mind I see Abraham, Noah, Moses, and others lining this grand hallway. Oh how I long to get to Heaven and meet them all. But on this side of Heaven, I get to say thank you to all those that line the long hallways in our very own hall of faith. As I walk down this hallway in my mind, I can see each and every one of your faces. This is my opportunity to say all that my heart palpates in appreciation for all you have done for us. Thank you for your obedience in sharing the dreams God has given you showing you a glimpse of our promise, thank you for purchasing small gifts that fuel us to keep believing, thank you for sending random texts with scriptures or a simple note saying “how are you?” or “still believing with you”, thank you for meeting us at the altar and lending us a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly, thank you for raising your faith-filled prayers to Heaven on our behalf. For all this and more, we could never repay you.
If you’re feeling lonely on your journey, I know what that’s like and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. Please, please continue crying out to God to surround you with the support you so desperately need. Keep pouring out and loving on others even when you wish you had that very person for yourself. God honors your obedience and your sacrifice. He will answer – never early and never too late.
P.S. I would love to be that support for you, please send me a message through the “Contact Us” tab.